Feel the LOVE

You guys, I LOOOOOVE my job!!! Yeah, yeah, I know it's only been two days. And yeah, I know I loved Miraval at the beginning too (the only reason I STOPPED loving Miraval was because Ron was fired and Diana was promoted, btw! It didn't suck until the management change!). But still, I fucking love my new position.

I worked my first 12-hour shift today and it felt like 8 somehow. That's a good sign, right? I met half of the school's students today and got to talk to some of them quite a bit. I received two massages, one was a reflexology session and one was sports massage, and both were wonderful. I got to know my Teaching Assistants better and I LOVE them! Actually, they're two of the best things about my job. Nancy and Jimmy are my left and right arm men (well... people). Super helpful, super passionate, super well-informed, and both are graduates of the DSMT program. Plus, super nice and have super awesome taste in music. Super!

The best part, though, is when I realized I was TEACHING. It's just amazing to me that I still became a teacher, 8 years after I thought that ship had sailed.

*sniffle*
*wipes tear*

And on top of all of this, I have a boss who I actually like and respect! I finally have a fabulous boss! I haven't had a fabulous boss since Kelly back at Travel & Transport and that was 6 freakin' years ago. We have a lot in common, from our sense of humor to our taste in music to the way we talk, and we got along instantly from the very first interview. Actually, I wanted to be friends with her from the first time she called me to schedule my interview. I'm just so damn happy to be working for someone I respect and for whom I WANT to work hard and push myself. I'm already brainstorming ideas on how to reward my kids for attendance (100% attendance is mandatory to pass this class but... well... you know how kids are. Even when some of them are 50-year-old kids). I've got another 12-hour day of clinic Sunday and then Monday I'll be training with the Big Boss Man, the corporate clinic director, so I'll toss around some ideas with him while I'm learning how to run all my administrative reports to show our numbers from the weekend.

Then I'm off Tues, Wed and Thurs! Except that I think I'm going to go in on Tuesday to sit in on a class or two. I went to Boulder College of Massage so I want to see how DSMT's classes are run and get a better feel for where my students are coming from.

*sigh*

I can't believe I have students.

LOVE. MY. JOB.

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!

I am officially the Clinical Internship Instructor and Clinic Manager at Denver School of Massage Therapy! I'm freakin' beside myself right now!! And I start Friday!!!! WHEEEEE!!!!

Two down, one to go

My 2nd interview went really well today! It was a panel interview with three of the school's instructors and I feel like I really held my own. I had a lot of the right answers and even when I didn't know how to answer a question, I admitted to that and they loved it. They gave me a scenario and asked what I would do. I said I'd have no idea how to go about it and that I would go to the other instructors to ask for their help. The panel loved my willingness to ask for help, so hooray for that.

I learned a lot more about the position today and, I must say, I MUST HAVE THIS JOB. I just feel that it will be such a good fit for me! My official position will be Clinical Internship Instructor, which is also the massage clinic manager for the school. I'll have a staff of 3-4 reception people and two teaching assistants. Since they've been without a clinic manager for awhile, one of the T.A.'s has been running the show and he was one of the people interviewing me today. He seems to be really good at this and is a really nice guy, so I look forward to learning the ropes from him. I'm excited about being an instructor at a massage school, it's truly what I've wanted to do since graduating from BCMT 5 years ago. My year spent in massage school was the best year of my life and I've wanted to go back ever since graduation day. Plus, I'm so jazzed at the opportunity to be an instructor! I went to Colorado State University for two years to become an orchestra teacher but dropped out in my sophomore year. Nearly 10 years later, I'm getting a second chance at becoming a teacher and I'm just beside myself with excitement.

Okay. So. I still have to make it through one more interview, the third and final one. And, thank god, I already have it scheduled. No more phone tag! No more calling every day to beg for an interview time! No more worrying! No more freaking out! Final interview is on Wed the 21st at 1:00 with the corporate clinic director man via webcam. Which is nice because I can just RELAX for the rest of this week and actually ENJOY being unemployed for one more week. Not that the job is in the bag but... well... it has never once occurred to me that I might not get this position. This is MY job. I just need to get through the formalities of convincing everyone else that it's mine.

Seriously, after talking to these three teachers today and hearing more about the job, I'm convinced that I am exactly what they are looking for and exactly what they need. I'm also convinced that they are exactly what I am looking for and need. It's going to be a perfectly symbiotic relationship and I am just thrilled about it.

So... now I just wait. And enjoy. And look forward. And visualize my new business cards and my new office and my new schedule.

It feels good. I'm happy. And excited. And relieved.

Ahhhh...

Dear Katy Perry

I just made a new MySpace friend named Em J, like 5 minutes ago, and she had written this letter to Katy Perry on her blog. I have been raving about this dumb skank every god damned time I hear "I Kissed A Girl" so I absolutely love what she wrote and have decided to repost it here because I AGREE WITH EVERY DAMN WORD. I absolutely hate this trendy "girls kissing girls to get attention from boys and then calling themselves bisexual" non-sense. It's fucking retarded. Sexual orientation doesn't just suddenly change, especially not for the promise of free drinks. Die on fire, Katy Perry. Die. On. Fire.


"Dear Katy Perry,

Thanks for setting bisexuals back another 10 years. "I kissed a girl, just to try it, hope my boyfriend don't mind it...."????? Excuse me, I just vomited in my mouth a little bit. The fact that this song is the number 1 single in America just adds insult to injury. Wow, being "bi" for attention is soooooo trendy right now. If you are a bar slut who makes out with other girls for attention/free drinks, you are not bi, you are a SKANK. A bisexual is someone who has relationships with both men AND women, not a drunken whore who makes out with her friends to turn her boyfriend on. Katy Perry, I hate you. I especially hate you because any time you are interviewed about kissing girls/being "bi", etc., you give stupid, evasive answers and refuse to admit whether or not you have even kissed a girl. ICK ICK ICK! Just FYI, Jill Sobule wrote a song called "I kissed a girl" like 10 fuckin years ago, and at least the lyrics were good, it was somewhat realistic, and it was provocative. And at least she wrote it herself. Unlike you. I think I speak for all bisexuals when I say, "We do not want 'I Kissed a Girl'" to be considered some kind of "bi anthem". You suck at singing and you suck at life."

Who are you?

Or better yet, who am I?

I'm having a very introspective, soul-searching kind of day. I'm questioning things I wasn't concerned with yesterday. I'm pondering and reaching, trying to find answers that may not even be there. Or at least maybe they haven't appeared yet... like when you're playing Legend of Zelda and you know you need the boomerang in order to advance through the Forest Temple but you haven't found the boomerang quite yet, so rather than move forward, you have no choice but to keep searching for it.

*sigh*

I'm pretty sure that my self-perception is inaccurate. I feel like I'm This but the feedback I get from others says that I'm That. Now I'm left trying to figure out if I'm This, That, or The Other, maybe a combination of the previous two.

I like to think that I'm constantly evolving and changing. Hell, if there's one thing constant about me as a psycho Pisces female, it's that change does not scare me. I got divorced in record time and moved across country almost on a whim, then decided to move back after having one particularly bad night alone. I go through jobs faster than most people go through a pair of jeans and have never held the same job longer than 2 years. Big change is an issue for me but not necessarily something I fear. I'd almost go so far as to say I thrive upon it, though I'm not proud of this fact.

It's the little changes that seem to give me trouble. Changes in my actions and reactions, my attitudes, my wild mood swings, and watching my god damned mouth. Changing basic character flaws does not come easily to me, although Aaron swears up and down that I've come a looooong way from when we first started dating two years ago. I feel like I've grown up a lot between 26 and almost 29. I feel like I've become much more aware of my behavioral issues, especially in romantic relationships, and will be a better partner to my next victim. But then something always seems to happen that points to NO, YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED MUCH and I feel like I'm back to square one.

Now that I'm back in Colorado, I would LOOOOVE to go back to my therapist whom I was seeing before I moved to Tucson. She was helping me deal with getting divorced from someone I loved while simultaneously dating someone new, working through all those contradictory feelings, but then I moved away before our work was complete. I went to two new therapists in Tucson but didn't click with either of them. Now that I'm back, I really wish I had some fucking health insurance so I could afford to see her again and get back to sorting myself out.

*sigh, again*

I guess I'm still just muddling through life, trying to figure it out. I just really look forward to being at the point where I feel like an honest to goodness Adult, with a stable job that I'm not constantly afraid of losing, a stable group of friends that I'm not constantly afraid of losing, and a stable relationship that isn't hindered under the weight of my divorce baggage and long-distances. I'll be 29 on February 20. That seems like an age where such things should not be out of reach and seems like a good year to really learn who the fuck I am. Right? Right???

Exactly 10 years

I thought I'd share this because I thought it was bizarre and kinda freaky.

Aaron and I broke up today, January 3, 2009, for good this time, when I dropped him off at the airport and he went back to Tucson after visiting for Xmas. No more on again, off again. No more long-distance. No more anything. It sucks. I'm not happy about it. I'm single now.

I'm single for the first time in a long time.

I'm single for the first time in EXACTLY 10 years, actually.

I met and started dating Alex on Jan 4, 1999. I was with Alex and then was immediately with Aaron as soon as my marriage ended, not even a minute between the two.

Jan 4, 1999 - Jan 3, 2009. Is that weird? Exactly ten years?

I thought it was pretty weird...