Minor epiphany

I think I just realized why this job is so great for me and why I'm succeeding as well as I am.

Well, other than "because I'm passionate and smart and love what I do", of course.

Drama.

It's the drama. Student drama. Adult student drama. Dramas that aren't actually Earth-shattering or life-ending or really all that important in the scheme of things, but they seem like it at the time, when I'm dealing within this microcosm.

I'm not very good with the World At Large. Darfur, the wars going on around the world, the economy, local murders happening in my backyard, all the actual scary dramas happening everywhere on Earth. They scare me and I can't handle them. Well, maybe I can but I don't handle them well. Panic rushes upon me in the blink of an eye until I'm spiraling downward within my mind, over something that has nothing to do with me and over which I have no control.

At DSMT, there are mini-dramas going on all the time. All. The. Time. Student X is about to fail Clinic III and what do we do about that?, or Student Y is pitching a major fit that she wasn't selected to do chair massage at the Open House even though she's 8 months preggers and can't be on her feet all day, or Student Z is a psycho and just freaked out and told me "I can't help it if I'm a fucking cunt!" Drama. All. The. Time.

In the midst of it, it's all-consuming and I lose myself in discussions with Jimmy and Nancy about "Did Sarah drop out of the program or is she just ditching clinic?" or "Class D-28 had a 92% show rate!" or "Did you hear Gabriella already has a cruise ship job lined up?!" We spend a good part of our Saturdays and Sundays in discussions and meetings over these things, figuring out game plans to help troubled students or making sure to give credit where credit is due to the fabulously successful ones.

These dramas don't "matter" like the outside ones do. They affect only the people directly involved. The biggest difference to me, though, is that I am a part of it and, often, I am in control as the instructor of the class and manager of the clinic. I completely immerse myself in it, I am passionate about helping or supporting or motivating them, and I always look forward to my next shift. For 40 hours a week, I have some manner of control over (seemingly) major life dramas. And I get to dress really cute while I'm doing it.

I love what I do and I can feel myself thriving.